All i want to know is why?

So i been going through a lot of shit lately. I thought i was over it, i try to pretend that i'm ok and nothing is wrong with me but the truth is i'm hurt. Friends come to me all the time crying about some guy that did them wrong, about whatever drama is going on in their life but i have no one to go to about my drama, about my pain. Sure they always tell me, they're there for me and i can tell them anything but i learned a long time ago, the hard way not to trust anyone. Its sad i rather put my shit online for the world to read then to trust just one person.

Well here it is, i'm just going to type and this may not all make sense but there it is.

I'm sad all the time, feel like crying everyday but i don't allow myself because i rather feel nothing then to feel anything at all. Guys always tell me how cute i em, how nice i em, what a great smile, beautiful eyes. Then they ask why don't have a boyfriend? Well thats because no one actually wants me. I'm always the friend nothing more. My friends come to me all the time with their guy problems. Why is he acting this way? What should i do? Should i wait for him to call? ETC. Hell guys come to me with their girl problems and i always get them back on track and let them know everything will work out. You know something i'v never had a boyfriend, hell i'v never even been on a date before. So tell me, please, whats wrong wrong with me? is me being fat the only reason no one wants me?

I'm tired, tired of being alone, tired of being sad, tired of having to fake the happiness, tired of having to put on a smile everyday, i'm tired of feeling lost, i'm tired of being hurt. 2 guys have hurt me in my life, the first was Alyues. Alyues was the first guy i ever fell for but in that time in my life he was the only gay guy i ever knew so i think thats a big reason of why i fell for him. After a year in a half i got over him and i also changed as a person. I became coco and i found a whole other world out there i never knew existed. In time i realized that Alyues was someone i could never be with, for many reasons, i also got my closure. The second guy to hurt me is Anthony, he just deleted me out his life and i don't know why. Did i do something wrong? Anthony is someone i'v talked about in many of my post because after finding myself and realizing what i want and the type of person i want to be with, he was that person. Although like everyone else he and i were just friends. Then one day he just stops talking to me, deletes me from his facebook and after 3 months i find a picture on his facebook of us from the very first time we met. A picture he i never tagged him in, a picture he had to of take from my page. Then today i have a notice on my a4a that he checked out my profile. What the fuck? Now i know i'm thinking way to much into it but all i can say is WHAT THE FUCK? all i want to know is why?